Soul lies ripped and torn, to get up just to say ‘I’m fine.’
Patience, frail and thin, foot tapping, waiting for a sign.
Hope’s gaze slowly drops down, unable to see the sun shine,
And with a tortured, lie of smile picks up a nearby dime.
Perseverance continues ahead, on the floor in a crawl,
Where precious few see that effort, for they’re too tall.
And ragged loneliness leans, restlessly, against the wall,
In this ever twisting hall of life, where every step can be a fall.
It's different from my usual poetry, so please let me know what you think.
Thank you,
Jake Smiley
I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I think you should add a little section that explains what you're trying to say.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to picture people in various stages of life going through this hallway. It's very interesting imagery, actually.
Well, this is the exact reason I don't. You came up with your own view of what the poem is saying, and I think it's wonderful, albeit very different from what was in my mind for what it means. That's a huge reason I will never do that haha :)
ReplyDeletein what way do you feel that this poem is different than your other poetry?
ReplyDeleteI just felt the style of it was different for me. The way I did the imagery and what not. Hope you weren't expecting a deep answer here haha.
ReplyDelete